While I begged him to stop--"No! Aieee! Hellllp!"--he relentlessly typed away, revealing the gory stats of each and every one of the 20 Worst Foods in America 2009.
I could have lived a rich, full life without ever knowing that there was such a dish as "Stacked and Stuffed Caramel Banana Pecan Hotcakes." Ditto the "Smokehouse Bacon Triple-the-Cheese Big Mouth Burger with Jalapeno Ranch Dressing," which has two thousand calories!! TWO THOUSAND CALORIES!!
And these were not even Number 1.
Number 1 was a Large Chocolate Oreo Shake which clocks in at 2600 calories, roughly equal, according to my husband's appalled and reeling calculations, to an entire package of the Oreo cookies for which it is named.
What is the thinking here? Is this a helpful shortcut for people who want the massive calorie-bombs of binge eating without the boredom of having to eat 47 actual Oreos?
This entire country's relationship to food is so epically screwed up, it deserves its own prime time TV show. Five or six strategically mismatched personalities can spend an hour yelling at each other about their food delusions: the Atkins person, the vegan, the CRONie, the anorexic, the points-system devotee, the oblivious fast-food-and-snack-cakes grazer, the ridiculed traditionalist...
Lawd help us all.
