Savannah Lee tag:savannahspage.com,2010://1 2010-04-05T14:19:08Z A writer's blog. Movable Type 3.33 The kitchen cabinets are organized. The linen closet is organized. tag:savannahspage.com,2010://1.795 2010-04-05T14:03:44Z 2010-04-05T14:19:08Z The under-vanity cabinets/drawers in the bathrooms are organized. The pantry is organized. The medicine cabinet is organized. Even The Kid's closet is organized. (Not picture-pretty, I hasten to add--but functional.) Now, I'm just down to the master bedroom and my... much stuff we can't figure out what to do with--so relatively few actual possessions, yet so much random stuff. Pieces of things. Parts of things. Empty cases. Empty, broken cases. Things we can't even identify, objects which must have made sense once in some kind of context, but the context has vanished. And instead of just chucking it all out wholesale, we feel some kind of duty to try to place it all, as if we were born to be archaeologists but missed our calling. (That would explain a lot, actually.) The good news is, though, we're really making progress. Once we're done with spring cleaning, we'll need one more pass--a good Fall Cleaning--and then we'll be ready to turn our attention to: THE BASEMENT AND GARAGE. Lawd help us. (Well, even they are not so bad these days. But still.) Help, I'm turning into one of those people who would be able to find her can opener, her corkscrew, her mittens and her 1972 tax returns if shaken out of a sound sleep. I always kind of knew that some kind of deep and fundamental change was waiting for me. But I never thought it would look like this. (Technically, I don't even know if this is it! But it could be. It's certainly an alien shore.)]]> Deadlines and tigers and bears, oh my! tag:savannahspage.com,2010://1.794 2010-03-29T12:52:35Z 2010-03-29T13:11:14Z As we speak, ladies and gentlemen, I am racing to beat a deadline for my part-time typing job. Why didn't I get it done last night, as I'd planned? Ask the Kid's dance competition, the kitchen (spring cleaning) and my... Vata-Ectomorph-Water/Metal ether! (If you click on the "Metal" link, what fascinates me is that it's a mirror-image Vata--someone thin, cold, and respirationally-distressed, but rigidly-scheduled, to the point where that's an actual problem, as opposed to the Indian Subcontinent version of the same type, who is all over the place and needs to be given structure. Isn't that fascinating? Since these traditional medicine forms were developed primarily by observation, it suggests that most of the thin, nervous people in the Indian Subcontinent must have been scattered, whereas most of the thin, nervous people in China must have been rigid. I wonder--seriously--if the difference might have to do with climate. The heat of India could make the delicate type come totally unglued, while the seasonal changes of China could make the delicate type lock up. And down. And all around.) OK. I have already lost thirty precious minutes on a job I have to get done. See you next week! Oh, and sorry about last week.]]> Spring cleaning: not as bad this year as it was last year tag:savannahspage.com,2010://1.793 2010-03-15T14:45:30Z 2010-03-15T14:51:10Z I had feared it would be worse--much worse--because I let go of the house with both hands this past year. Instead, I've been pleasantly surprised. There hasn't been as much junk to wade through. Apparently we're getting better at figuring... I had feared it would be worse--much worse--because I let go of the house with both hands this past year. Instead, I've been pleasantly surprised. There hasn't been as much junk to wade through. Apparently we're getting better at figuring out what to do with stuff we can't figure out what to do with. (Other than putting it in an ever-growing pile by the desk/table/couch.) But yeah, I've been scrubbing and vacuuming and dusting and rearranging furniture. So that's pretty much it. No new news. I hate figure skating now tag:savannahspage.com,2010://1.791 2010-03-08T13:23:05Z 2010-03-08T13:30:05Z I used to love to watch figure skating. I was THERE for the Battle of the Carmens '88, watching the drama in the lounge of my dorm room. In '92, I missed Kristi Yamaguchi and bemoaned it for weeks. In... something I wrote on this blog about the gymnastics competition of the most recent summer Olympics:
[The Chinese competitor] nailed her first [vault] beyond all nailing, sending the commentators into raptures. I am pretty sure one of them said, "It feels like destiny here!" Then she completely blew the second one. She didn't even land--the floor rudely cut her off while she was still struggling to get out of her mid-air gyrations. She found herself on her knees before the world. ... Can't everybody see how stupid these competitions are? I mean...those two vaults, the nailed one and the blown one, the triumph and the disaster, each from THE SAME GIRL AND WITHIN TWO MINUTES OF EACH OTHER...don't they show how stupid the whole concept of these competitions are? How arbitrary they are?
In the figure skating, there were no "blown vaults." Everyone in the last group skated cleanly. And then they got scored. Gold medalist Kim Yu-Na scored way beyond silver medalist Mao Asada (and, indeed, everyone else on planet earth). This created the impression that Mao Asada "lost" to Kim Yu-Na. Which I find so blitheringly, phantasmagorically stupid that I honestly do not think there is a combination of Anglo-Saxon gerunds profane enough to express it. George Clooney once said, "I don't know how you compare art." Yeah, I don't either. And what happened on that ice last night--look. If you want figure skating to be a SPORT, reinstate the fucking compulsory figures and make the "programs" into a series of exercises like in a dance class. Everybody waits in a line and goes through: TRIPLE LUTZ! Kim....lutz...score. Asada...lutz...score. Rochette...lutz...score. Etcetera. Once everyone has done that particular trick, the next one starts: AXEL! Kim...double...score. Asada...triple...score. Rochette...double...score. Etcetera. Each skater gets two chances at each trick, like the freestyle aerial skiers do. They can wear the same uniforms as the speed skaters. THAT would be a sport. What happened last night was a highly athletic form of art. It unfolded for us like a modern dance program, each piece technically stand-alone but oddly, subterraneanly linked, like the roots of a series of ferns. It unfolded like fiddleheads in the mist. And then it got ranked. Which can only do untold violence to the souls of those both watching and participating. Why, I ask you, why IN FUCK was Mao Asada left decimated and feeling like she'd failed after her perfectly emotionally coherent and fluid performance? Because people gave her numbers which said 205 as opposed to the numbers for Kim, which were 228. I completely deny that those numbers were meaningful in this context. I realize the judges think they're based on something, but they're not. Not if you accept that this is a "program," a performance. Art needs room to breathe. You let it into the room, the rules change. Figure skating ignores that, using art for its own ends and then violating its spirit with crass, reductionist ranks and numbers. Get those stupid numbers the FUCK OUT of there, or put those girls in speed skating suits and make it about tricks and lines. Sports are such a travesty.]]> Milkshakes?? Count me in! tag:savannahspage.com,2010://1.792 2010-03-01T12:59:54Z 2010-03-01T13:00:06Z After careful, deep, spiritual study (aka finding out that the ritual "libation" was a milkshake), I have joined the First Atheist Church of True Science (FACTS). You all should know that I took this important step with due solemnity and... ritual "libation" was a milkshake), I have joined the First Atheist Church of True Science (FACTS). You all should know that I took this important step with due solemnity and seriousness of purpose (aka giddy delight). Wish me well, friends, as I vest myself in the all-important FACTS Ritual Garb--silly hats are involved--while striving to follow my new church's stringent teaching with regard to money.
"Inasmuch as it violates the FACTS Second and Third Suggestions (i.e., "Be honest" and "Do what's right"), we strongly disapprove of using monetary instruments that say "In God We Trust" to make any Church-related purchases. (We disapprove of using such instruments for any purchase, but - unfortunately - there are often no other choices available.)"
Oh goody, I have an overly-literal, daily-life-impeding rule to get around! Just like Catholics and Buddhists! I feel so included. Let the search for loopholes begin! To wit--I'm hoping debit cards will get around the prohibition, since they are monetary instruments, but do not "say" "In God We Trust." If they are indeed permissible, that'll actually be great, because I never have cash anyhow. Sometimes, when making a ridiculously small off-the-cuff purchase for which I am forced to use my debit card, I have felt embarrassed. But now, I can swipe my card for that fifty-nine-cent candy bar with pride. I will say, "CASH is AGAINST MY RELIGION. It says 'In God We Trust,' and I belong to the First Atheist Church of True Science. So I can't use it. Thanks for understanding. Have you heard the good news about atheism? Check out our church! You can join online. Yeah, no, I know it makes no sense to call an anti-church a church. Or a non-religion, a religion. You're right. It is absurd. But this is America. We eat absurdity for breakfast. Know why there aren't any American surrealists or Dadaists? Because our REALITY is surreal. Just think about-- What? How many people have piled up behind me? Oh. Sorry." I hope to find a minister of my new non-faith so that I can earnestly confess some of my doctrinal fears. Such as: --What if I unthinkingly yell out "Oh God" during sex, or "Jesus" if I hit my thumb with a hammer? After such lapses, how shall I purify myself? Must I recite from Brecht's Life of Galileo, or will a mere contemplation of a single physical law (lighting a candle, boiling some water, dropping a shoe) suffice? --Also, can I get extra credit for writing erotica? I'm sure that puts me well beyond the pale of even the Unitarian Universalists, especially the bondage stories. --When making the FACTS Libation, if we are found not to have any ice cream in the depths of our freezer, is it permissible to substitute frozen yogurt? --What about a combination of kefir and ice cubes? --May I still continue to listen to kirtan, despite its frequent references to deities such as Shiva and Krishna? What if I preface each theistic song by saying the word "Disbelieve!"? Will that be sufficient to neutralize the "effect" of the theistic words? --And how about the fact that I'm even talking about something as metaphysical as some mysterious "effect" which is supposedly produced by someone singing a song about Shiva? Clearly, I have a long way to go in ridding myself of un-Scientific thought patterns. I must humble myself and repeat the Catechism (of my own devising):
"Atom. Atom. What a beautiful word."
--Tillie, "The Effect of Gamma Rays on Man-in-the-Moon Marigolds," Paul Zindel (1964)
Well. I've always believed that. And now, I must go. May probability work in your favor as often as possible, my fellow bits of "matter with curiosity" (Richard Feynman).]]> I'm still here. Really I am. I'm so here, I'm in three anthologies this year! tag:savannahspage.com,2010://1.790 2010-02-22T16:09:16Z 2010-02-22T16:18:54Z OK, so I missed last week. But here I am this week! Rly! I am also to be found in three wonderful anthologies, all of which--I think--are coming out in our fair year of 2010. Two, count 'em, TWO stories... Mammoth Book of Best New Erotica 9. My essay "The Other Side of the Story: Elia Kazan as Director of Female Pain" appears in the forthcoming anthology Kazan Revisited. And an all-new erotica, "The Poetry of Pigalle," is set to appear in the forthcoming Sex and the City: Paris collection. So that is what I have been doing, as well as following through on Family Illness Drama '09, and starting yoga teacher training. Add that to my duties as a dance mom, and all I can say is, my husband is a very patient man. As for me, I'm in a state of complete bewilderment. When the hell did I get a life? I never thought I'd have one. It never occurred to me that a life could sneak up on me. I thought that was something you had to deliberately pursue. Apparently not.]]> Sixteen Factors Personality Test tag:savannahspage.com,2010://1.789 2010-02-08T16:24:52Z 2010-02-08T16:30:30Z I found this interesting personality test online. It measures sixteen ways people might operate in the world. My results: Cattell's 16 Factor Test Results Warmth ||||||||||||||||||||| 66% Intellect |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74% Emotional Stability |||||||||||||||||| 58% Aggressiveness |||||||||||| 38% Liveliness |||||| 14%...
Cattell's 16 Factor Test Results
Warmth ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Intellect |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74%
Emotional Stability |||||||||||||||||| 58%
Aggressiveness |||||||||||| 38%
Liveliness |||||| 14%
Dutifulness ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%
Social Assertiveness ||||||||||||||| 46%
Sensitivity ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Paranoia |||||||||||||||||| 54%
Abstractness |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82%
Introversion ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Anxiety |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74%
Openmindedness ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%
Independence |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Perfectionism ||||||||||||||| 50%
Tension ||||||||||||||| 46%
Take Cattell 16 Factor Test (similar to 16pf)
personality tests by similarminds.com So I guess I'm really independent (i.e. I don't mind eating alone, which is one of the questions), and really abstract, but not terribly lively :) Works for me. Now go read the wonderful new blog of one of my editors, the writer and poet Bill Noble.]]> For everyone who needs to hear it, whoever you are and whatever the reason tag:savannahspage.com,2010://1.788 2010-02-01T13:54:08Z 2010-02-01T13:56:33Z "Everybody deserves a chance to be happy in their life. You do too." Still the most revolutionary words on the planet.... You do too." Still the most revolutionary words on the planet.]]> Keith Olbermann Kicks Ass, Takes Names tag:savannahspage.com,2010://1.787 2010-01-18T23:50:23Z 2010-01-18T23:54:09Z "And I would wish you to hell, but...I suspect the vacant, purposeless lives you both live now are hell enough already." Keith Olbermann on Pat Robertson and Rush Limbaugh's cruel response to the Haitian earthquake.... Keith Olbermann on Pat Robertson and Rush Limbaugh's cruel response to the Haitian earthquake. ]]> So let's see, what am I grumbling about these days? tag:savannahspage.com,2010://1.786 2010-01-11T14:11:35Z 2010-01-11T14:30:03Z Honey? Come here and tell me what I've been bitching about lately so I can put it in my blog. ...Oh, yup, the positively Bush-ian refusal to answer Helen Thomas pissed me off good and proper. Thanks. What else? I... the positively Bush-ian refusal to answer Helen Thomas pissed me off good and proper. Thanks. What else? I know I've been mad about stuff, this is me after all. What do you mean, tell them stuff I'm happy about. Happiness is a private, secret blessing. When facing outward at the world, it is our duty to focus on the stuff that's going wrong. Nobody improves by talking about what's going right. Nobody...huh? Able to figure out what's fucked up just fine all on their own? Well...of course, but see, it's still important to...You're getting a headache? Oh. OK. I'm sorry. # So: snow tires. I just got some this winter. I love them. I want to have their babies. Even my husband, who for the previous twenty years had staunchly maintained that snow tires make no difference whatsoever, has been forced to concede that they are in fact All That. Snow tires make me happy. Yes they do. Candles. I just found a package of tapers that I totally forgot we had, and have been burning them ever since. Why? Because I figured out that the thing to do is lodge them in a bowl with craft sand. That fixes a problem which, for some reason, has dogged me forever: every taper holder I have ever used is either too tight or too loose. Sand, however, is just right. That makes me happy. Knitting. Seriously, who ever knew that knitting was so fun? I like to sit in my window, watching the little chipmunks and bunnies pick through the drifting snow, and knit row after row. Those who know me will at this point be saying "Who are you and what have you done with Savannah," because I never look out the window. I never even open the curtains. Except now I do! And it makes me happy. DanceSpirit magazine makes me happy. Know why? Because I found a copy in the waiting room of my daughter's dance school which gives you awesome instructions for how to get clean without taking a shower. The key is baby wipes. As a mom, I started laughing out loud while at the same time almost slapping myself for being so stupid. Of course! When you've just come out of a five-hour rehearsal--or you have exactly three minutes to get yourself ready for the day--you can wipe yourself down with baby wipes! How could I not have figured this out during all those diaper changes? (Oh, and sprayable dry shampoo, too. We shall have to investigate that. If such a thing could actually work with my hideously fine, thin, limp hair, it will truly be a dream come true.) Next, if somebody could invent a set of sweats that truly does look cute while being warm and soft and comfy AND covering one's navel (i.e. you can wear it past the age of nineteen), my life would be downright complete. So that's the Happy Report: snow tires, knitting needles, candles, faux-showers, and the prospect of The Perfect Sweats. Now about those melting glaciers and signs of national decline...]]> I'll spare you the story of my Christmas virus, how's about that? tag:savannahspage.com,2010://1.785 2010-01-04T08:23:45Z 2010-01-04T09:31:06Z After all, there's a 99.99999% chance that you had a Christmas virus of your own, so you really don't need to hear about the unique and exciting properties of the one that decided to get up close and personal with... AMERICA'S MOST CHEESE-SHAPED DADS!") is a sign of the Apocalypse, or actually an improvement, gawd help us, on what came before. 2) A Top Ten list of the most terrifyingly stupid and sinister things said in America during the past decade. 3) Something to do to take your mind off your existential despair at the above. (I finally learned how to knit right before my Christmas virus and have been clicking madly away ever since. I'm on my third scarf, and I can't even purl yet.) 4) You will need to make an entire afghan to get yourself through this one: secret detention in the USA! Gives "So I put my hands up" a whole new meaning. 5) Okay, now buy some red, white and blue yarn and celebrate the fact that despite the present darkness, the fight ain't hardly over. With these groups and individuals striving for Truth, Justice and the American Way, this generation will yet redeem the promise. 6) Enough politics. Time for some New Year's resolutions! I hereby resolve to: --Take more hot baths --Spend more time in Paschimottanasana --And Ustrasana --Did I mention baths? --And baths. --Eat more lentil soup --And more cookies --Get to all the remaining Alexander McCall Smith books on my list --While taking hot baths --And making a sweet god of kindly laughter. Happy New Year.]]> Men don hijabs for social protest tag:savannahspage.com,2009://1.784 2009-12-21T12:17:27Z 2009-12-21T12:30:03Z These guys made my day. They put on hijabs and chadors to show solidarity with an Iranian activist AND with Iranian women. Gentlemen, I salute you.... made my day. They put on hijabs and chadors to show solidarity with an Iranian activist AND with Iranian women. Gentlemen, I salute you.]]> Dorm living for grownups: the time has come tag:savannahspage.com,2009://1.783 2009-12-14T12:24:44Z 2009-12-14T12:30:04Z Dear Universe, Whose idea was it that grown people, who have to work, raise kids, take care of aging parents, manage their finances, and try to stay in good enough shape that they don't have a heart attack at forty,... twenty hours a week maintaining their homes. That's a whole other part-time job! No. This is stupid. I hereby declare that every home in America shall be transformed into a luxury garden condo. Every building which houses these units shall have a dining hall, a laundry service, and a housekeeping staff. Although the mortgage/condo fee will be larger, I bet that economies of scale will mean overall savings to families who will no longer have to shop for groceries (or order in Chinese). Plus, maybe families can volunteer on cleanup or something to get a discount. Regardless. What I'm trying to say is, it's not 1725 anymore. The DIY household no longer makes economic or time-management sense. We live in a dual-career, long-commute, over-scheduled world, yet our living arrangements cling to the fantasy that there's endless amounts of time (and money, in the case of retail groceries) to shop, cook, clean, wash, and fold. Why? That nice, big kitchen with the granite countertops? That's not an opportunity, folks. That's a relic. That's a $50,000 chunk of cognitive dissonance. Instead of a kitchen, we need a doorway--a doorway to the downstairs dining hall. Besides, the best way to honor the domestic arts is to professionalize them. That's a language everyone can understand.]]> Sorry to be late again tag:savannahspage.com,2009://1.782 2009-12-09T18:09:58Z 2009-12-09T18:11:45Z Family Illness Drama '09 combined with Midwestern Weather Drama '09 was enough to sandbag my blogging this week. More life-changing decisions for my sick relative (and more procedures in his immediate future). Ridiculous amounts of snow. Just gotta ride it... Family Illness Drama '09 combined with Midwestern Weather Drama '09 was enough to sandbag my blogging this week. More life-changing decisions for my sick relative (and more procedures in his immediate future). Ridiculous amounts of snow. Just gotta ride it out. Exciting MBTI update tag:savannahspage.com,2009://1.769 2009-12-01T14:01:07Z 2009-12-01T14:15:04Z (Sorry to have missed blogging yesterday. It was one of those days.) Regular readers will know that I've been wrestling with my Myers-Briggs type. The search is over. Extensive reading, dialogue, discussion, and road-testing in online communities have convinced me... I've been wrestling with my Myers-Briggs type. The search is over. Extensive reading, dialogue, discussion, and road-testing in online communities have convinced me that, l'INTJ, c'est moi. INTJ women are believed to be .5% of the population. Yep, it's us and the crickets. Near as I can tell, INTJ women are wildly overrepresented on Teh Intarwebs, where we flock to get down with our bad logorrheic, intuitive-yet-analytical, tough-minded, secretly vulnerable and yearning selves. What does it all mean? Not much. But it's fun :)]]>